Letting Kids Learn From Their Mistakes

It’s hard. But we need to let our kids fail. They need to experience failure. And when they do, they need to learn from it. This is exactly the message of this particular video.

Stop Overparenting

We only want the best for our kids. We’ll do everything for our kids. We’ll make sure there’s a safety net in case they fall.  But apparently, we’re not doing it right. That’s not exactly the ideal way of raising kids.

You only want the best for your child, right? But what if I told you you’d be better off letting them fail.

It seems like a scary thought. But it does make sense. Nowadays, we have the tendency to over parent.

We’re kinda in this culture now. We live with this sort of terminology of overparenting. And we think we’re doing the right things for our children, exposing them to everything. Getting them involved in everything and helping them with their homework …

Is this all too much? Are we suffocating our kids with this so-called overparenting? Jessica Lahey, teacher and parent, has her thoughts on this.

Well, we’re exposing them to everything except for allowing the kids to deal with the consequences of …the mistakes they make in school…many parents step in a little bit too quickly and don’t let the kids actually deal with the consequences or own up to their mistakes.

At some point, we have to learn how to let go. Overparenting can only spoil our kids even more. They won’t be able to rise above their challenges. They’ll always blame other people for their mistakes. The entitlement attitude will prevail. This means that our kids will think the world owes them. They’ll hardly be grateful since everything else is laid out for them. This isn’t the kind of attitude we want for our kids.

Let Them Deal With Their Mistakes

It’s important that our kids learn how to deal with their mistakes. According to Jessica, our kids are better off making mistakes in school.

… middle school which is a great place to make mistakes … Middle school is the time for kids to really come of age, to go through all kinds of stuff …where the stakes are low. If they cheat on a quiz in middle school and they get caught, let them deal with that. Let them own up to it. Someday, it could be cheating on their taxes and ending up in Federal Prison. Let them deal with the little stuff while the stakes are still really low.

I would say that parenting nowadays has changed a lot. Back in the days, my parents weren’t around much. They didn’t bother with my homework since that was my responsibility. Could this be the reason why I’m overparenting my kids now? Maybe.

Overparenting can endanger the attitude of our kids. I’d definitely have to watch myself now. It’s important that my kids deal with their mistakes. It’s important they do it now.

My AHA Moment

This is one AHA moment for me. We can only teach and protect our kids so much. At some point, we have to let go of the reins.

Think of going to school as a bit of a hero’s journey. And your kid is the hero of the story…that kid comes up against the dragon and he’s got a fight. If the mom comes into school and lobs a hand grenade at the dragon, the kid’s not going to learn anything about how to deal with those issues.

And it gets worse.

When they hit high school. When they hit college and they have a disappointment, they’re really not going to know how to land on their own two feet …

If they can’t land on their own two feet, they’ll have a harder time. They won’t be able to deal with disappointment, as they get older. As parents, we don’t want that to happen.

Our role as parents is to mold our kids for the future.  But unfortunately, we won’t be able to mold them well if we overparent. At some point, we need to let go. We need to let them learn from their mistakes.

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